Ode to My Parents. A happy 'Coming Out' Story

I was asked by Aleesha to write an article about being a teenage Pagan for this issue of Body-Mind-Spirit so I thought it best to write about experiences which I have had due to my spiritual path.

I have been Pagan for four years, but have always had an interest in the unusual, the spiritual, the occult and the philosophical.

My introduction to my first love (before my boyfriend of course ;), Tarot, at the age of nine, paved the way towards Paganism, and from that age my transition from Christianity to Paganism was set in motion, only coming to completion five years later when I realized that the beliefs I had held all my life were almost exactly the same as those held by most Pagans.

Now we're always hearing about how teens 'come out' of the closet telling their parents they are Pagan, and how those parents disinherit their children or throw them out until the local vicar has come round with his Bible and holy water. Due to this we believe that telling our family about our spiritual path will drive us further apart. I know I certainly did, until the day I finally had the courage to explain to my parents who I really was.

I remember it as being one of the scariest things I had ever done, but also one of the best. My mother has always been a practical woman, and her main concern was that I may be discriminated against or hurt because of my beliefs. Like any mother, she couldn't bear the idea of her children being hurt in any way. She spent the next three years supporting me with anything I decided to do, and we grew closer. Her acceptance of my decision and path helped me become a more confident and complete person, and whilst she never fully understands Paganism she understands that it's right for me and never once tried to stop me being who I wanted to be.

I didn't tell my father until I was seventeen. Our family, whilst being Christian, do not talk about religion in the house: it's one of those unspoken 'rules'. As such I didn't find the time to tell him until the publication of a Pagan Parenting magazine (Triple Spiral) which included one of my articles and a piece of my poetry. I handed him the magazine opened it at my article, and waited. When he had read the article he told me that he didn't really understand Paganism, but he was proud that I had the courage and independence to choose my own path and know what was right for me. He said that his only hope was that when I have children I will give them the same amount of freedom that I was given and allow them to choose their own path.

It has always been comforting to know that my Parents love me no matter who or what I am. It is immensely uplifting to realize that they see me as old enough and responsible enough to make my own decisions. It is one of the most joyful things I have experienced, to be as close to them both as I am now, and to be able to share with them my thoughts, feelings, and achievements within Paganism and Tarot.

However, it makes me sad to think that I probably would not have such a relationship with or understanding of my parents, if I hadn't decided to 'come out'. Maybe there's someone reading this who is scared of telling their family or friends and I hope I have made them aware that there are happy endings to these 'coming out' stories.

By Kim Huggens