Letting Go of Illusion

I was a student nurse when I first began to sense currents of Life Force.

At the time I didn't know what was happening.

During my daily duties as I bathed, massaged and changed the bedclothes for my patients, I began to be aware of a fluid sensation streaming through my hands and fingers.

I felt that a loving power was moving around me and through me, infusing myself and my patients with the hope, the tenderness, the strength needed for their healing. I thought the feeling was my imagination. I thought I was creating a fantasy - the feeling seemed to make the work on the wards easier; and I felt lighter and more in touch with my patients.

I believed I needed to create this fantasy for myself when the pain of what I was realizing about the human condition was too great to bear. I was only nineteen and determined not to shut down to the reality I was given day by day - bodies emaciated, limbs in perpetual contraction, deep, weeping bedsores, drug-induced apathy, Adults and children crushed, broken, some just decaying, not TV images but living flesh. Real.

Many years later, in a school – I could call it a Mystery School, a place of initiation into subtle dimensions of existence – I was shown that the fluid tenderness, the loving, healing lightness, was not a fantasy at all. It was more real than anything I had ever known. It was demonstrated to me that what I had thought was imagination was in fact my direct experience of the subtle substance out of which all of creation arises. What I had thought was my defense against the horrors of reality was, in fact, Reality Itself. I realized the simple truth: The Source of all Life – God – is ever-present and palpable.

This transformation of my understanding has brought about a transformation also of my life. Once I knew what was real, I could do nothing else with my life but share the gift of knowledge I had received.

Over the twelve years in which I participated in the school where my awakening deepened so dramatically, I became familiar with the form of group work within which I and others had been initiated into subtle dimensions of perception. From the very beginning of these twelve years I had been inviting groups of people to my home to explore vibrational rapport and group consciousness with me. We met every Monday evening. Now, twenty-three years later, we still meet every Monday evening although the people who make up the group have moved on and been replaced numerous dozens of times.

Working with me now is a circle of people who realize that humanity as a whole is awakening. We recognize that at sub-atomic or vibrational levels, humanity is One Body and that separation from one another or from our Source is illusion. We are ordinary people living ordinary lives but with extraordinary understanding of the nature of reality. Day by day we do the work necessary to offer on-going workshops, gatherings, and individual counseling. We cook, we cater, we clean, we garden, we tend to our guests' needs, we answer telephones, do our filing, pay our bills, and we do all this without being paid because we have discovered that the privilege of serving in this way is a joy beyond measure.

Although I no longer work in a hospital, I know now that the energies I felt in my hands while I worked with hospital patients move always amongst us. And I seek to educate so that others may be freed from the illusion that the palpable Presence of our Creator, our Sustainer, is only imagination.

Be still, listen with your heart. Trusting love, we do come to know God.

By Lynne Gordon-Mündel