Jamaican Retreat

Winter 2002 was cold and snowy in Ontario but I'll remember it for the time I spent at a week-long retreat being held in Jamaica.

The Joy Class, according to the program description, sets out to explore "the space where creativity and spirituality intersect and service and humanity collide."

Program leader Cindy Barlow told us at the beginning of the week that we would "increase your capacity to experience joy daily, by honouring your authentic self."

The Joy Class is a follow-up to Constellation's "The Trust Program." I went to that retreat in July 2002 after leaving a job I'd held for 13 years. Unemployed, unsure and feeling beaten-up after months of tension and unhappiness, the Trust Program helped me rediscover my spirituality and love of writing, which, like a compass bearing, pointed me to a new career.

In less than a year my life changed dramatically, but by December I was still struggling with a feeling that I was missing a piece of the puzzle, that there was a bigger purpose to my life. I yearned to experience again the intimacy and mindful exploration a retreat provides; and the idea of vacationing in Jamaica in February with my sister, sans husband and children, appealed to me.

My first night in Jamaica I had a dream that I found an old, long-forgotten suitcase in my home. Opening it, I discovered a red-and-white floral patterned umbrella. I was delighted to reclaim this prized possession, this treasure. As it happens, in Jamaica I did find a joyful treasure, hidden away, lost and forgotten in my life's luggage.

Frenchman's Cove was a treasure, a jewel among Jamaica's beaches, and the perfect setting for a retreat. The stone villas, tucked here and there amid the lush vegetation and overlooking the ocean, were secluded and private. There were no raucous pool games, jet skiis or crowds to intrude on quiet contemplation or intimate conversation.

My cousin and sister were among the participants. Through our shared experience, the other nine have become my lifelong friends. Although we spent a great deal of time together, there was still plenty of personal time, to laze on the beach or mull over life's mysteries. Cindy was no taskmaster and let the program flow in a natural way.

That was one of the key messages I took home - to relax a little on assumptions and expectations. Sometimes we have our sights set so intently on the distant outcome we miss the pleasures of the path, the joy and beauty of small things and the lessons we learn along the way. I went to Jamaica to find a better understanding of how my career and personal life could mesh, to better define my calling; and I found what I was looking for.

Much is written these days about finding balance between home life, family and career. Embarking within the process on my retreats helped me find balance, but more importantly, I saw the bigger picture. I saw how the choices I make in the minutiae of my daily life have a broader impact in my surrounding world, both spiritual and physical. "Think globally, act personally," is now my daily reminder.

I now understand the power of giving without expectation, and its potential to change the world.

During the week I traced my life's journey, and examined how my every experience, both good and bad, my dreams and wishes have helped form who I am, and led me to the place I am now. When I saw it all laid out, it was like a door opening to a great galloping vista of opportunities.

I came away with a clearer vision of my calling - to fertilize creativity and enlightenment, particularly in children and youth, and to be my whole creative self.

My life hasn't been the same since returning from Jamaica. Indeed, I seem to be living Goethe's couplet "whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it." All the qualities of a "dream job" I outlined are becoming reality; I find magic everyday.

The way I see it, I didn't "retreat" in Jamaica, I advanced.

By Birgitta MacLeod

- 7 - Edition 14, August 2003