Living the Magic

Last issue I shared my philosophy of living in the moment.

As we begin to start living our lives in the moment, focusing on the now rather than our past or future it's important to look at how we perceive each situation which comes our way.

We all view different situations through our own personal filter.

Our life experiences shape and mold our outlook into a very unique perspective. Even people of like-minds have a different way of viewing any given situation. Our experiences, good and bad, assist us in growing, changing and becoming the person we are.

Unfortunately, sometimes we perceive a situation differently than it was intended, and it's this type of miscommunication which causes so many troubles in our lives. Rather than calmly asking someone if they meant what you heard, often times people react instead of waiting for clarification.

So much energy is wasted getting angry or upset. We may negatively interpret 'the look' someone gave us - when in fact they may have been thinking about something which happened earlier and had nothing to do with us. Other times we react because we 'hear' something one way and that isn't how the person meant it.

I believe if we all spent more time finding the good in a situation or asking for clarity rather than looking for the negativity - we would find our lives much happier indeed.

A few years ago, okay time got away from me, it was approximately 15 years ago (am I old enough that 20 years ago is less than half my life?) my boyfriend and I decided to change our perceptions. Every night before we went to sleep we would both share the positive things we experienced during the day. We didn't allow ourselves to discuss anything negative.

The first few nights it was fun as we tried to find a few obvious happy thoughts to share. As time went on we shared at a deeper level and found happiness in smaller instances, which actually ended up bringing us even more joy. Little things began meaning more. The stuff that happened which normally upset us was replaced with a different outlook...one of a more positive nature.

Even during a disagreement we were able to find positive moments. Like the gentleness in his eyes when he realized how hurt I was or the first smile after we worked things through. Instead of focusing on the argument, we found ourselves focusing on the things which brought us together.

We found our relationship and lives becoming much more positive. We laughed more and smiled at the oddest times. Another driver would be frustrated and yell at us and instead of taking it in a negative fashion we would be sharing the good in the moment ("we get to spend more time together since traffic is so backed up").

We found our perception of things could be changed for the better. We discovered every situation had the potential for lightheartedness.

After a time we stopped sharing our 'grateful moments' with each other and our lives returned to being more negative. I learned from this experiment that we have to work at being positive, we must work on living in the light and being happy. It doesn't just find us, we need to notice it!

I challenge you all to begin this exercise in your own life. Start noticing the wonderful, magical little moments which happen right under your nose. Mention them to someone you love on a regular basis and watch your perception change.

Gandhi says, "We must be the change we wish to see in the world." There is only one way to change and that's to just do it. Take each minute in your day as it comes and try to fill it with joy. If you do, I believe your life will be one which is filled with much more light.

By Aleesha Stephenson

- 15 - Edition 14, August 2003