Emotional Education

As the spotlight reflected off the young man's bowed head, the crowd cheered.

The referee raised the other wrestler's hand as the winner.

A dejected Jesse walked off, shoulders sagging.

In the next minute his twin brother would be stepping into the same spotlight to keep his dream of going to the state championship alive.

Jesse would stand next to the mat there and cheer him on, even though his own heart was broken by defeat. He had just wrestled the last match of his high school career.

Two different emotional challenges for these two young men.

Jesse walked to the podium, head held high and accepted his second-place award. He then hugged me and, with a sob said, "I tried so hard." I sobbed with him and for him, but under it all I was proud of the composure he exhibited.

His brother Sherwood walked to the podium and accepted his first-place medal with a dignified expression, and then hugged his brother.

In awe of the control of my young men, I tried to recall what influences in their lives had taught them to balance their emotions in such a chaotic setting.

Emotions – those sometimes out of control streams, coursing through our bodies and souls! Without a good balance, emotions can control our lives, obscuring what we feel at the level we choose. We are all born with a river of emotion within us; as we grow and learn, it is channeled to meet our needs and desires. Left unattended, emotions can take the path of least resistance and run out of control.

Emotional influence is the way most of us learn control or lack of it.

Visually, by observation, is the easiest way for children to learn. Parents' emotional reactions to situations are watched and absorbed. If an infant in a car seat sees you bang the steering wheel and exhibit hostile behavior while driving, what emotional control will the child learn? Whereas, if a parent shows love, happiness, and patience, won't that be learned as a desirable way to demonstrate emotion?

There are no emotional rules that I know of; rather, expression emotion is a day-to-day learning experience. What works for some, does not for others.

I remember a six-year-old losing a wrestling match, and a referee handing him a ribbon for participation. The child dropped it to the floor in frustration. He did not want it. The smiling referee put it back into his little hand and explained what a privilege it was to be a competitor, no matter what the outcome. True athletes learn to accept defeat as well as victory. Now 18, the wrestler still has that ribbon.

The influences in our lives come at any given moment from any given person. My sons were fortunate enough to have had great teachers and mentors throughout their lives to help them learn to respect others and themselves. They had coaches who taught them to play by the rules, lose gracefully, win graciously, love it all, and be emotionally stable.

Emotional education is a foundation for our spiritual growth. I hope you learn from your experiences and experience your emotions in the way you choose.

By Karen Webster