The Emotional Roller Coaster of Feeling Bad

Select any major amusement park in North America and you will surely find a roller coaster.

It could be a roller coaster from bygone days, where the steel wheels creek on rusty rails as it climbs to the highest elevation before plunging into a frantic freefall.

Or, it could be a new high-tech roller coaster, where passengers must be strapped in to protect themselves from inverted spirals at lightening speeds.

Our emotions can feel like roller coaster rides. We experience a slew of feelings daily, some of which are developed from within us and others that appear to be placed upon us externally. One of the most breathtaking emotional roller coaster rides is when people try to make us feel bad about ourselves. Some people seem to know which buttons to push and how high to take us before leaving us suspended in midair. Let's take a brief look at this emotional roller coaster and how it is possible to live with people who attempt to make us feel bad about ourselves.

Don't buy a ticket

"Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

—Eleanor Roosevelt

We must make a conscious effort to decide if we want someone to make us feel bad about ourselves. In most situations, no one is forcing us to buy a ticket. When we buy into what another person is saying, we made a choice to become a passenger.

Refuse to give other people the green light to make you feel bad about yourself. The decision is totally yours.

Avoid toxic people

"The nobler sort of man emphasizes the good qualities in others, and does not accentuate the bad. The inferior does."

—Confucius

Toxic people love to make others feel bad about themselves. And when they succeed in making others feel inferior, it makes them feel superior in return. They meet at the workplace water cooler and at family gatherings so they can share their latest gossip. It is very addicting and easy to get sucked into their tangled webs. Besides, if you are not there to talk about someone else, they may be there talking about you! Mark Twain advised, "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you too can become great."

Become noble and associate with as many positive people as possible. Join associations, places of worship, and meet new friends who are uplifting and enjoy the good qualities of other people. This will help you escape the seduction of toxic people. By thinking favorably of others, you will be stronger when someone else speaks ill of you.

Self-acceptance

"Persons of high self-esteem are not driven to make themselves superior to others; they do not seek to prove their value by measuring themselves against a comparative standard. Their joy is being who they are, not in being better than someone else."

—Nathaniel Branden

People are especially successful in making us feel bad about ourselves when we have not entirely accepted ourselves for who we are. I personally rode this emotional roller coaster after surviving a heart attack at the young age of thirty-five. After a heart attack, and during the course of many other illnesses, people cannot see the permanent damage or the temporary challenges that are placed upon a survivor. My driver's license was temporarily suspended because of the heart attack and I was forced to take public transportation. One day on the bus, a group of teenagers sat next to me. I was using a wheeled briefcase so I could avoid carrying heavy objects. The teenagers made rude comments about how pathetic and lazy I was for not carrying my briefcase. They were loud enough so that other passengers could hear their verbal abuse. I sat there calmly and focused on how I accepted myself unconditionally. There is nothing I can do to change the fact that I had a heart attack. It was not necessary to prove to the teenagers that at one time I was very capable of carrying my briefcase. It was also important that I not try to meet someone else's standards.

Take the time now to accept yourself unconditionally for who you truly are. By doing this in advance, you can remain feeling good about yourself, no matter who tries to knock you down.

The emotional roller coaster of other people trying to make us feel bad about ourselves is here to stay. There is no way to escape it entirely. Use the suggestions and quotes that are provided in this article to make your next roller coaster ride a smooth one.

By Mark McGregor