I Wish I Could Write, But I Can't!

I wish I could write, but I can't.

One of my goals is to write inspirational books.

I truly enjoy touching the lives of others, lifting spirits and offering hope whenever I can.

But what I enjoy most is helping others to overcome obstacles and recognize options and possibilities in their lives. Knowing this, I find I have a little roadblock myself when it comes to writing my first book. For example, this is what happens to me. I grab my cup of coffee, sit down in front of my computer, take a deep breath and place my fingers on the keyboard, armed with determination. Then comes the pivotal moment. A clean white screen suddenly appears and the cursor blinks; everything is ready for the magic to begin. Except me. I sit frozen, staring at the blank page on my computer screen. I sit and sit and sit. And stare and stare and stare. Finally, I ask myself, "Why can't my computer write for me?"

I wish I could write, but I can't.

I have read many wonderful books in my life by a variety of authors. I am in awe of anyone who has something published. Anything at all. And I am intimidated by their amazing accomplishments. Even a little jealous. How can these gifted authors describe in such beautiful detail the billowing clouds, howling winds, or bubbling brooks? Their imaginative writing triggers my imagination. I "see" what they are writing. I know I have a vivid imagination, so what's the problem here? Why can't I put it all down on paper?

I wish I could write, but I can't.

Okay, one more thing that doesn't help in overcoming my sit-and-stare-at-a-blank-screen syndrome is the English language itself. (This is a special issue for me as I was born in Germany, and grew up as a child in Latin America. English became my third language.) Why do so many words sound alike and mean something entirely different? Just this morning I was talking to my husband – who by the way is a great writer, so I am naturally intimidated by him– about the differences between affect and effect. Then, consider the words to, too, and two! They all sound alike but have different meanings or usage. Whoever thought up the rules for using these little words should be shot!

I wish I could write, but I can't.

Despite the strangeness of the English language, some people have such a command of it that they seem to effortlessly weave amazing stories. Does it take that to be a great writer? Do I want to be a great writer? I'm not sure. I am a simple person with simple ideas. I simply want to write stories that inspire. We all have a story to tell, and we all have our own style of sharing those stories.

I wish I could write, but I can't.

As I sit and write in my office, I turn to the right and see a statement I've written for my clients on my wipe board. It reads, "Eliminate the words TRY and CAN'T – TRY is a frustrating excuse and CAN'T keeps you stuck." I realize that I must walk the talk, not just talk the talk. How can I help others go beyond "TRYING and CAN'T-ING" when I haven't gone beyond those words myself?

So what's holding me back? Me, Myself, and I. OK, Me, Myself, and I, let's start writing.

There is an old saying – Act as if it has already happened. It is time to act upon my dream and open the door of possibilities. Writing from my heart is a dream. So what am I waiting for?

I close my eyes and imagine myself bundling the words I TRY and I CAN'T, throwing them out the window, feeling the force of letting go. Once I complete the visual, I then imagine looking into the mirror and seeing the person I want to be now and I affirm:

I WILL WRITE BECAUSE I CAN.

I will write because I can.

I open my eyes feeling newfound determination. This time I WILL complete my goal of writing. No more whining, complaining or comparing. It no longer matters to me if I am not read by millions or even one person, because I am writing for myself.

I will write because I can.

I can write, I know I can, because it is in my heart and soul to write. An expression of who I am will go into each and every word. Enough chatter – time to move forward.

I am writing because I can.

By Karin Peterson-Sitrin