What AIDS has Taught Me about Joy and Courage!

For many of us baby boomers, back in the '60s knew we were going to change the world then we got busy.

Our high hopes and great expectations of making the world a better place to live took a back seat to making a living, raising a family and survival.

Ah, time marches on.

In 1993 that same sense of urgency that I had felt in the '60s took hold of me again. I felt a calling to get involved in some capacity with this expanding epidemic they called AIDS. I contacted our AIDS Service Foundation in So. California and asked how I could volunteer. My first assignment was picking up weekly food supplies from a neighborhood warehouse and stocking the shelves where other volunteers came daily to fill orders for housebound clients. As I learned more I became more involved as an emotional support buddy for one of the ASF clients. Dawn Lindall could have been your sister, or mine. She was a lot like me. She loved animals, gardening, dancing, her husband Cliff, and life in general. Unlike me, she was HIV positive. She had been married in her early twenties to a hemophiliac who later died from a tainted transfusion. Dawn was infected too. The joy of Dawn's spirit was she always said, "I am living with AIDS...not dying from it!" Dawn used her illness to educate others. She was a constant quest lecturer at local high schools and colleges. She would start her presentation by sitting in the audience and then shocking everyone by standing and walking to the podium to speak when they had already stereotyped the speaker to be a drug user or homosexual male. She could be blunt, outspoken and .oh so honest, about HIV/AIDS and how it had changed her life. She was never going to have children, she could no longer make a living teaching ballroom dancing, and yet she found joy everyday. I believe it was this attitude of joy that kept Dawn going for more 11 years after becoming infected when doctors told her she would be lucky to live to see 30. One of my favorite memories of Dawn was when she taught our 14 year old Godchild to waltz and foxtrot on our front lawn. We lost Dawn in December 1998. She remains a constant source of courage for me.

Survival hit a lot closer to home one summer day in July 1994 when our adult son, David was diagnosed HIV+. Nothing can prepare you or be more devastating than knowing someone you love has a terminal disease. How do you deal with this kind of news - one of two ways- you either go into depression, where you are no earthly good to anyone, or you REJOICE!

I chose to rejoice at the opportunity (does this sound like a motivational speaker or what!) to truly APPRECIATE and LOVE someone knowing everyday with David is a gift! We are blessed David has been HIV+ for almost eleven years. He has a good job. He works for a major hotel chain and has received more accommodations for service than anyone in the history of the chain, He has excellent health care and his T-cell count remains high while his viral load is almost non-existent. How many of us savor and nurture every moment together, every phone call or email. With David, NOTHING is taken for granted and that spills over into how you respond to all the other relationships in your life.

Two years ago we moved up to the Pacific Northwest . First thing on my agenda to become part of the community I got in touch with our Evergreens AIDS Services. To date I have been a speaker at World AID'S Day, an auctioneer for two years at the annual AIDS Art Auction, and we have donated our home for Evergreen Board meetings and staff retreats.

My husband and I freely speak of our HIV+ son hoping to help others become more aware of the far reaching hands of AIDS.

At a global level, the number of people living with HIV continues to grow - from 35 million in 2001 to 38 million in 2003. An estimated 5 million acquired the virus in 2003, the greatest number in ANY year since the beginning of the epidemic

As I write this article I am looking at a letter from a friend's daughter who is raising money to go to Africa to work with Youth with a Mission at their center for infected AIDS children. I know Paula will return with joy in her heart for having played a part in this cause.

By Bonnie Dean