Beyond the Clouds, Forever Connected with the Child We Lost

Article Excerpt: Our spiritual experiences and a belief that there is something beyond transcends a sense of peace knowing that we are forever connected with the child we lost.

On October 24, 2003, my son Jon died unexpectedly at the age of twenty. The life that I once knew was now a distant memory. It was during my darkest moments that I prayed for strength. As I opened my heart, mind, and soul I began to see, feel, hear, and experience things that I knew could only be messages from Jon. As I spoke to other parents who have lost a child, I recognized that my experiences were not unique, as they too had encountered events which were unexplainable.

On Halloween Eve of 2003 one week after the loss of Jon, I had three young children at home who couldn't grasp the loss of their brother. My husband took them out for Trick-or-Treat. I sat in a dark house lit by candles and a glowing pumpkin. The reality that my child had died was too much to bear. I screamed out, "Where are you?" I was answered with a haunting silence. I broke down in tears and wondered how I would ever survive this? From here on my journey had begun. I prayed, searched, and reflected on the purpose of my life. I found that with each new day I was moving toward a closer connection to God-Spirit-Universe.

I reflected on the Daffodils of October 24, 2003. It was on this brisk, grey, autumn day in the afternoon that my three year old son and I planted daffodils. We dug the dirt and put the bulbs in with anticipation of their cheerful springtime arrival. I would never have imagined that within hours my life would be forever changed. I would be told that my child had died. Seven months later I am at the cemetery. It is a beautiful day, with many people tending to gravesites. A groundskeeper approaches me and comments on how nice Jon's grave looks. He asked me if I would like some bulbs, although he stated, "We are not supposed to give them away." I asked, "What kind of bulbs are they?" He responded, "Daffodils," I was overwhelmed with joy as he filled my trunk with approximately 150 beautiful bulbs. I shared these precious bulbs with family and friends. Several years later my friend's son came up to me. With a bright smile he said "your son's flowers are blooming." I knew that this event was not a coincidence. It was a beautiful message from Jon and God.

Several months after the loss of Jon I laid in my bed face-down, attempting to fall asleep. I began to feel a pressure on my back. I was still, my heart pounding, wondering what was happening. The pressure lifted for several seconds, returned and then diminished. I sat up. I then saw Jon in front of me. He had on a baseball cap and was smiling. I could not believe what I had just experienced. I had an overwhelming sense of peace knowing that Jon continued to exist.

The phone calls began two weeks before Christmas of 2003. I was home alone attempting to decorate for the holidays. I was having a difficult time and prayed for Jon to send me some sort of a message. A short time later I received a phone call from a woman in Alabama who started that my number had shown up on her caller ID.

I informed her that it was impossible since I was home alone. I then remembered my prayer. I explained to her that my son had passed away and how I had prayed for him to send me a message. She was a very spiritual person and said "I am sure that this was the doings of your son, God will always answer your prayers." It was also interesting that she called from Alabama and Jon's favorite song was "Sweet Home Alabama." Throughout several years the phone calls continued.

I began to track them and followed up with our local telephone provider. It was not a surprise that none of the calls were ever identified as being made from our landline phone. I believe that the energy we possess as human beings does not cease following our physical death. These stories just touch on the profound events that I and my family have experienced. We have been blessed to have these connections with Jon. You may share your personal connection that you have had with your child at the child we lost site. The stories that we share builds a bond. We know the depth and darkness of pain, but as we heal we are blessed with the brightness of light. Simple moments do not pass us by. The stars are brighter, colors are more intense and a child's laughter heals our hearts. We know that the "light" of our child shines from a very special place. God Bless You.

By Susan Casadei