My Rubber Band's Last Snap

Porzia and her boyfriend Neil from Ireland stopped by. I was cleaning up from having tried to make crepes from a box with instructions in Italian. They turned out a little extra thick and rubbery, maybe a bit too chewy but good over all.

"Is that all your doing? She asked. Come out with us to predi café!" We walked to Piazza Libertá and took seats under the new outdoor wooden spring bar. She asked how I was doing, as I looked good. It was an interesting time of reflection from three people all from different home lands.

I told them about my second oldest sister and her recent bout with breast cancer. That gal does not know how to stop working! We talked about the classes I took in the States to stay present, and how multi tasking had become so over rated that people do not know how to relax and stay present in the moment. Oddly enough, that is my life now. I gave an example that maybe one rubber band only have a specified number of snaps before it becomes brittle and breaks. So you can either go slow and pace the stretches or accept the risk of other consequences. Like it snapping at some unspecified point in time and then you are left with no more snaps…

I sit there looking at all walking by and around on this sunny but chilly day. I enjoy the favor or Porzia and Neal. We sip on our afternoon café and think about life's meaning at that moment. The past would have had me making my lists in my mind for the future. Not anymore. I seem content to allow my mind not to race anywhere to try to get anything different done or accomplished while spending a few moments in my friends' company.

Multitasking is no longer a word in my vocabulary. Staying focused on one task is a huge ordeal these days. I can't say if the time I was on the heart lung machine, the trauma in the ICU, one of my three mini strokes a month after open heart surgery, the life threatening VTAC or the recovered trauma memories from my entire life did it. I can't say which or all did it, but my rubber band has snapped and my tread mill of life no longer accepts any size replacements bands.

At least for today, I accept the new me. I seem to be at peace with this ex-stockbroker, ex-public official, ex-community grant writer, ex-award winning citizen for community services and ex-internationally emerging artist for a different and new tone in life.

My three story home in Colorado is no longer a cherished asset. My future will be an old, UN kept room in a three story old palazza. It is run by Marcella. She is 82 and has had a long life of suffering too. My dinners will be prepared for me by her, my dishes washed and my clothes prepared for me too. My 7 year old and I will share this one large room together. Others will pop in renting by the day or month but we will stay here for now. We will share a bathroom and living room with our visitors.

At dinner this week with Marcella, we met a group of Americans. The mother was a hairdresser. So of course I asked… any chance you cut my hair? I am happy with my free up do!

Nia, my 7 year old, and I will have a fourth story roof terrace all to ourselves as it is never used. I tried to think of what I can do should I want to cook. The idea of a gas grill for the roof top and a mini fridge in our room should suit us fine. This shall be our life for this next year.

In a time when no rubber bands fit any more, it sounds like a mindfulness choice, to step in and embrace my new life without multitasking and demands… It really is the best I have to offer right now….

Ciao from Spoleto, Umbria, Italia

By Francesca Owens