Still Pushing the River Control vs.Connection

The Delusion of Control

Control has been our cross to bear since time immemorial! Like a virus, it has plagued us all without deference to caste, creed, race or religion.

It is the one common denominator amongst each and everyone one of us which, unless checked, will ultimately lead to our downfall.

As Control uses manipulation in an attempt to fulfill needs and wants, it knows no bounds in meeting its objective. Deceit, guilt, blame, greed, betrayal, envy, rationalization, martyrdom & righteousness are amongst its closest allies whereas acceptance, faith, trust, integrity, support, truth, honesty, humility & forgiveness are amongst its sworn enemies.

A recent example of such manipulation is the response by our governments to the September 11th bombings where the rhetoric of Justice was used to mask and justify actions based on our desire for revenge! In our need to feel safe and ensure our freedom, we typically resort to the use of "force" to ultimately take control of a situation. Even in our own personal lives, how often do we say "But this isn't fair" and then proceed to use revenge to get "even" or get our due. We have become accustomed to a mentality which chooses revenge over healing by simply ignoring the latter as a viable option. For it is when we seek Forgiveness as opposed to Justice, that we get Healing as opposed to Revenge. The hypocrisy lies in the fact that while we "claim" to want healing and forgiveness, we act to the contrary as our bruised Egos gorge on a feast of anger, hate and fear; and ironically, unless we identify this dynamic and choose another healthier and more healing way, we will continue to inflict harm, pain and suffering to our fellow man in the name of peace and freedom for all! So how do we start? The Power of Connection

We can start going beyond our affliction with control by understanding what essential need within us it is trying to fulfill. Much like eating junk food to fulfill our hunger, control has become our toxic companion whereas what we are truly hungering for is Connection! The need to "connect" within our world is innate to our being, as it is through connection that we experience meaning, fulfillment & love in our lives. Connection is the core of what relationships are all about and from the time we are born to when we leave, we are constantly in a relationship - be it with an individual, the environment or with ourselves. And when we choose to earnestly "connect" to the world from within ourselves, we gain access to a rich flow which nourishes and fulfills our being and does so with natural grace, ease & wisdom. Ultimately, as our needs are met, we no longer feel compelled to be "pushing the river" by going into our "control games," realizing instead the futility and the energy drain behind such actions.

To experience the power of Connection, we must reframe our thinking and shift paradigms. All of us have at one time or another experienced a state of connectedness in a situation where there was total ease and a feeling of freedom. We felt unconditionally loved, accepted and supported and intuitively knew that we were in the flow where effort had no place. When we come from Connection (as opposed to Control), we recognize and acknowledge the presence of an abundant universal flow which, like a life giving river, has all that we need for our nourishment. To partake of its offerings, we simply need to position ourselves within its banks. What this requires is that we actively develop and prepare ourselves within so that we are ready, willing and able to receive its support. Essentially, Connection is an invitation from the heart to share in the prosperity and abundance of the universe; and we simply need to choose to open our heart and center within it to share in the riches. Unfortunately, it is when we forget this truth that we resort to Control in order to placate the hunger for meaning and fulfillment.

Life on this planet was never meant to be such a struggle. By losing our Connection to the Self, to others and to our environment, we have ended up using Control in order not to feel the depth of disconnection and despair that haunts our very core. However, much like "pushing the river," resorting to control is a ridiculous, insane act which is counterproductive to there being healing solutions in our lives. After September 11th, it is becoming abundantly clear that forgiveness, and not revenge holds the key to finding true understanding and freedom in our lives. However, this can only occur once we as individuals first choose to transform our hurts into opportunities for forgiveness through which we can create a lasting peace for generations to come!

By Taron Puri