Finding My Soul Again: Healing from Grief in The Pet World

Losing animal friends to the great playground of pet heaven usually means for us left behind that our souls are tossed about, and then cast adrift.

The bereaved pet owner floats like a clod of seaweed on an ocean of grief.

Mortified by physical reality, the soul remains barely in focus.

Grief bears down like a toothache, eating away at the heart, numbing the senses. The death of a beloved pet is a life-altering experience where, for some, grief therapy becomes an imperative and a necessity. What can help bring the bereaved pet owner's soul back into focus? I was forced to find answers to this question for myself when, for the first time, I was faced with the death of a long-term animal friend.

This story, a remedy for sadness, begins with my (former) best friend and playmate, a gorgeous, male, 9 pound, Seal-Point Himalayan; a cat who for many years I also used as an "extra" model when drawing and painting live nudes, or included within floral still life paintings, or just because Damien was striking spectacular poses, which was practically every day. A very posy cat Damien was, indeed Himalayans usually are, and so sweetly proud and triumphantly serious about his great looking little body being used as a beautiful object to be studied. In fact, taking outright advantage of the situation meant that, over a course of years, I completed a slew of drawings, paintings and sculptures of my remarkable and beloved familiar and work companion. Damien lived to be 25 years old. I had known a cat for 16 years who had never killed a living thing, not even a moth or two, and who always seemed to be guiding me from the vantage place of an intelligence far more elegant than mine.

Months before Damien's physical departure I tried to prepare myself. Of course, nothing I had done ahead of time made the slightest difference when the clock rolled into his final day. I was completely leveled by grief. I was reduced to a mute child. I did not know how to live any more. And, worst of all, I was so ashamed that all the beauty and wisdom Damien had shared with me for so many years seemed to have been wasted on me. I felt unworthy to have been blessed with the company of such a remarkable friend. For months on end I was unable to honor his memory by being filled with the grandness of life, just as he had taught me. Instead, I was tiny, pathetic and sad as hell. My soul was knocking about, adrift in a cold current.

Somehow or another, through the blur of depression I saw my way to framing and hanging one of the large charcoals I had drawn of my precious friend. I wondered if viewing a pure non-rendered drawing that, literally, breathed Damien's essence, perhaps some healing from grief might begin. It worked. Every day I am inspired by the simplicity of the charcoal medium, it's carbon essence. As well, it is clear that my innate drawing skills had revealed Damien's heart's essence. This unique gift wants to be put to use. For all the years I have sold my work, my collectors have reported to me about their healing relationships with the many kinds of artwork I do. Previously I had not looked for personal healing effects from my work. My job is as a visionary scientist; art and books are current mediums. To experience for the first time the healing quality of my own work changed my life. The view to my soul came clearly into focus. I was ready for a new animal friend.

Damien led to Xena. Xena, a 9.8 pound coal-black spaniel/terrier mix, arrived in our home by announcing her presence (at the Albuquerque Humane Society) to me via my dreams. I was so grateful. The steady stream of good luck and blessings magnetized to my life by this equally remarkable little creature inspired me to offer to create healing pet portraits for patrons of the Albuquerque Humane Society, all to benefit the shelter. The Santa Fe Humane Society has also benefited by numerous Pet Portraits commissions. The glowing testimonials from patrons thus far lead me to wonder if creating Pet Portraits for healing might be some of the most meaningful work I have ever done. Seeing people burst into tears of delight upon seeing a portrait of a dog they don't even know, much less a beloved friend, leaves me wondering how much greater joy and wonder could be exchanged? A humane and passionate ecology of healing is being created on a personal and a community level. This cycle of care grows only love

By Jennet Inglis