What if I Just Can't Take it?

I often have people come up to me and say "Look funny boy my problems are worse than you could ever imagine.

How is laughing going to change them?"

I always say it won't, and don't call me funny boy. Laughing alone will not solve anything.

If laughter was the answer comics would be the most well adjusted people on the planet and trust me we aren't.

Laughing at your problems gives you a short respite from the pain of the situation. Think of how terrible life would be if all you did was wallow in your misery. Everyone has misery and we would be so busy wallowing there would be no time to make lunch (and I find that a misery in itself). Laughter is a vacation from our daily troubles that costs nothing and requires no special shots or passports. It removes the problem from right in front of our face and puts it in a place where we can mock and ridicule it. We can finally get some control over it.

advertisement: The CHEERS ProjectWhen you laugh at your problems you empower yourself to take ownership of the problem. If you have just lost a leg (as one of our students recently did) and you make a joke about it you own the emotion of the loss. If youmake fun of your situation the reaction of others, and you, is now yours to control. If you want to talk to someone about your problem using joke is vital unless you want to be the object of pity. A little sympathy is good but pity robs you of the ownership of your problem. Most people do not want to hear about your problems all the time and if you can't lighten the load for them they will turn away eventually. Remember no matter how big your problem is, my problem is more important to me, because it directly affects me. It's my problem after all!

So what if you just can't take it anymore? What if life is just too painful to find any humour in it at all? The only thing that I think can work is the spinich lesson. Remember when you were a kid and your parents forced you to eat foods that you didn't like? Mine was spinich. Whats funny is now I like spinich. I had to be forced to eat something that was good for me. Sometimes we have to force ourselves to laugh and I do mean force. Put a stupid smile on your face and force out a dumb goofy laugh. Do it by yourself, with friends or with enemies but FORCE yourself to laugh. Force yourself as a funny show comes on TV or before you meet with friends. I guarantee you will not have to force it later, because unlike eating spinich we want to laugh.

I am not Superman and my life is not filled with endless mirth. This past summer I was hospitalized, had major surgery, lost my Mom to cancer and dealt crippling financial blows. The only thing that kept me going was to FORCE the laughter because I sure didn't feel like it. When I did it made laughter come more easily. When you force yourself eventually nature takes over and you laugh again by yourself. As I visited with my Mom I had to force myself before I saw her to make her feel more comfortable. I was able to joke with her and Mom would have wanted me to tell you the last joke I wrote about her death so I will leave you with it. It was the last time I really made her laugh.

"Mom was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer and I'm pretty upset because she lied to me. She always told me I would be the death of her".

By Derek Wilken